No, I Don't Watch Seinfeld

c: So I just tried canceling my date with Beardo. And he was going to suprise me with tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld tonight.

me: DO NOT CANCEL.

c: Haha, whoaaaa. Why?

me: Because Jerry Seinfeld is so lame that it will be the most hilarious date ever and then we can giggle about it.

c: Omg, I thought I was the only one who hates Seinfeld! Everyone's judging me.

me: I LOATHE him.

c: Omg, that's why we are friends.

me: Everyone is always like, "I can't believe you don't watch Seinfeld! I thought that was completely up your alley!" And then I never want to speak to that person again.

c: I HATE SEINFELD. I think Elaine is the most obnoxious person ever.

me: Hahahahhahah, our anger is boiling over. In regard to Jerry fucking Seinfeld.

c: Jerry is creepy. And George is a pedophile.

me: And Jerry's intonation when he talks: duh duh DUH duh duh. duh DUH.

c: He told me he got the tickets in anticipation of me being like, "OMFG balasuidnvaiesr thank you can I have your babies?" But really i was like,"Oh ... that's special."

me: Balasuidnvaiesr = new favorite word.

c: I sort of liked this guy. Now that I know his true colors (Seinfeld), it'll never work.

me: Well, some people I like enjoy Seinfeld and I just have to learn to get past it.

c: Like I said yesterday ... you are more giving with your love.

me: You are the only person in the world to classify me as that instead of a black-hearted bitch. Well, probably my mom would say that about me.

c: Birds of a feather flock together, my pet.