Succubi

From: mh@email.com
To: thegirls@email.com
Subject: I'm a succubus that's trying to kill my man!

Day one of the new job yesterday was great but I worked until 11:30 - crazy times getting ready for this trip!

See below, I tried to be nice but was not on my A-game. That's my funny snafu of the day.

Love you!

From: boyfriend@email.com
To: mh@email.com
Subject: Dear

I love you much, but this morning I thought you tried to poison me. My coffee reeks of soap, and when I opened the cap, there were soap bubbles everywhere. I’m not even sure you rinsed it! With those kinds of mugs it’s better to use soap the night before so that it’s thoroughly rinsed; I almost gagged on my drive to work. It tasted like coffee-flavored cleanliness.

From: me@email.com
To: thegirls@email.com
Subject: Re: I'm a succubus that's trying to kill my man!

Oh my god. That is an amazing email.

I had to look up succubus on www.wordnik.com: noun A female demon supposed to descend upon and have sexual intercourse with a man while he sleeps.


From: mh@email.com
To: thegirls@email.com
Subject: Re: I'm a succubus that's trying to kill my man!

I took it from South Park. Clearly I butchered the meaning, but the demon part I got right.


From: ac@email.com
To: thegirls@email.com
Subject: Re: I'm a succubus that's trying to kill my man!

Side note: I've read paranormal/fantasy books where succubi are characters. Bam.


From: sb@email.com
To: thegirls@email.com
Subject: Re: I'm a succubus that's trying to kill my man!

Your bf cracks me up. By the way, husband just told me that sometimes I am too hard on him. Well, that's not how he worded it.

Husband: "You ride me like a fifth grade wedgie."
Me: "You are a fifth grade wedgie."