Worse Than Crazy: Knowing You're Crazy

c: Ugh, Megan Fox, just shut your fucking mouth, stand there and look hot and pout. That's your only role in life.

me: Her head is getting BUSY.
I mean BIG. I don't know what made me type busy.

c: And all in caps too. That took energy.

me: I think I'm losing my mind. I couldn't find my speedometer yesterday on my way to work for the life of me.

c: Haha, WHAT? Did you steal a car?

me: No! It was my car! I was looking at a different set of controls and wondering why they were all staying steady when my speed was going up and down. And my heart started to race because I knew I was crazy. And then I snapped out of it and realized the speedometer was the huge circle to the right.

Then that night I used some butter and stored it in the microwave when I was done.

c: Hahahahahaha, M you are going insane.

me: Wait, there's one more.

c: You're one step into dementia.

me: Ever since I woke up this morning, I've been steering to the right when I walk. I first noticed when I was headed for my alarm clock this morning and ended up at the coat rack. Veering off course all day like a grocery cart with a wonky wheel.

c: And are you sure you didnt have a stroke?

me: There's no telling.

c: Or are you a kitten and did someone cut off your whiskers?

me: BAH! Kittens don't forget where their speedometers are. And they wouldn't store butter. They'd just eat it.