Changing Times & Losers

a: Yeah, so I left my phone on my desk last night and by the time I realized it, I was almost home and traffic was horrible, so I said screw it. But I couldn't help that super-panicked feeling you get when you know you don't have a phone. Like, "What if I break down on the side of the road?" or "What if something happens to Nana and someone's trying to call me?" or "What if a really hot guy got my number and has been trying to call but then gives up because I don't return his call?" ...

Yeah, turns out not one single person tried to contact me last night.

me: Hahahaha, story of my life.

a: I swear that phone has become sort of a crutch, or an addiction. And this is coming from someone who's never on the phone and likes being unreachable for a while. How times have changed.

me: Seriously.

a: Remember in '98 when no one had a phone except for emergencies?

me: Ahhh, the end of high school. I remember having a phone my freshman year in college but never charging it because I didn't use it.

a: I know! I took one with me to college just to call home. Crazy town.

me: We might as well have written our papers with manual typewriters by candlelight.

a: HAHAHA. All kidding aside, I would like to bring red rubber envelope seals back. And maybe quills.

me: Quills. I'm totally into quills.

a: I got invited to this pre-Thanksgiving pot luck dinner (all girls) and I was just reading what everyone has RSVP'd for. This girl I can't stand says one thing: "cranberry sauce." I mean, who offers to bring something that requires buying one single can and opening it? At least you could say cranberry sauce and dessert ... or something else to add. Loser.

me: Hahahhaah, total loser. You should reply that you'll bring the bag of Pepperidge Farm stuffing bread crumbs. Dry.

a: No, I'm gonna change my reply to one word: "Butter."

me: HA

a: Or even better, "Butter and wine."

me: This girl sounds AMAZING. And like she could get her sugar daddy to give her a bit of dough so she could bring more than a fucking canned non-perishable food drive item to a dinner party.