Wedding Season Planning

me: When is the wedding?

c: May 22nd, I believe.

me: Can't go. Just kidding.

c: I secured my date for that one and one in June today. I will not fly stag.

me: YOU HAVE A DATE ALREADY?

c: Ha, yup. Asked him today.

me: I don't even have guy friends that aren't married.

c: Well, this is just a friend. But he's pretty, so he will make me look pretty by association.

me: Jealous.

c: Ooor uglier? This may have been poorly planned.

me: I just used my brain to make an idea.

c: I mean that's what it's there for. Lay it on me.

me: I thought I sent it to everyone. Hold please.

c: That's a good idea! But you want to hear something embarrassing?

me: Yes.

c: So post-planning-cigarette, I was sitting on the toilet allowing my ass to wage a war on the toilet and was thinking about my bachelorette party (never gonna happen) and I totally want it Harry Potter themed. Harry stripper, quidditch cake, everything. Then I realized what I was thinking and where I was while I was thinking it and realized why I'm single.

me: BAhahahahahha. But it's also the reason why I love you so much.