c: Hey, M, does L's whirlwind romance give you hope for one of your own?
me: No. I'm not Christian or a virgin.
c: Haha, I meant meet someone and BAM marriage.
me: No. I'm not shiny and happy. It only happens to shiny and happy people. I need someone who has the time to wade through my shit and decide they still want to put up with me.
c: Omg, we are both such Debbie Downers. Misery loves company. And I couldn't ask for better company.
me: Awww, that was sweet in such a sick way.
c: Hahahaha. Oh! Did I tell you J is marrying H with an online preacher's certificate and they are having him wear a monocle? He's going to look like the Monopoly man. They also want him to wear a top hat and cane. I couldn't hold my tongue. I said, "H, he's short, rotund and with that absurd outfit I will expect him to say 'Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go straight to jail.' instead of 'You may kiss the bride.'"
me: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa]
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