Everything Comes Back to the Bowels

c: Sidenote: I have been having the urge to vom all day ... and I just burped, and it went away.

me: Ha! Your own homeopathic remedy.

c: Yup.

me: You're practically a guest writer for GOOP.

c: At first I was concerned that I was hungover from my three glasses of "Happy Birthday, Mom" wine. Which had me more worried that my tolerance had significantly diminished ... crisis averted. I'm not hungover ... I just have gas. Phew.

me: I had 3 glasses of wine last night. I am hungover. I had to eat Chipotle with carnitas for lunch. Now I feel like a house on wheels. You know, my quick feet being wheels.

c: Well if only you had the Sketcher's work out sneakers on, then you'd be a fly-by house. With a tight bum.

me: I'm thinking of Wizard of Oz now.

c: And now I want Chipotle. But not carnitas. Pork creeps me out.

me: Mmmm, it's so good. Except for the mooshy fat pieces.

c: Welp, there's the nausea again.