Lost in Translation

k: Can you tell that this was written by an enthusiastic Indian man? I can.
"Dining at the restaurant is an extremely delectable and a delightful experience which soothes and rejuvenates your senses in the most suave and unwinding environment. From Pizzas to Dimsums and Kebabs to the most exotic beverages, we carefully craft every meal to be a spectacle that lingers … longer!"

me: HA. I want to have a longer lingering spectacle with an Indian man.

k: I keep saying "extremely delectable" in an Indian accent in my mind.

me: On the radio this morning, some idiot girl called in and they were asking her about the guys she dates. They asked if she dates Indians and her answer was, "I haven't, but I'm a vegetarian, so I go out to lunch with Indian people a lot."

k: Oh my god. I hate humanity

me: Hahahahhaha.

k: Except for this guy who is telling me to "exploit the chefs."

me: What? Wait. Did you write that and you are calling yourself an Indian man?

k: No!

me: Hahahahha

k: How dare you! No, I got that copy from the general manager in India. I need to polish the terds and make them shine for American audiences.

me: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

k: "Slip into the pool deck ..." Um ... NO.

me: This is your funnest freelance assignment yet!

k: I hope all my other assignments come from India. This is too rich.

me: I hope they do too. Then I hope you and Husband break up and you fly to India to meet the man who is sending you this rich copy.

k: "Giving new meaning to Peshawari ..." I would settle for any sort of meaning, new or old

me: The meaning of this at all? The meaning? Anyone?

k: HAHAHA. Oh, you know old Peshawari, that old sonofabitch.