Please, Bare With Me

me: So I just googled to find out the correct use of "bear/bare with me." This is the WikiAnswer I found and I'm about to pee a little:
"Bear with me," is to ask for patience. "Bare with me" would be asking them to undress.

c: The next time I go to have sex ... which could be in years ... I am going to ask them to bare with me.

me: You've just sent me over the edge.

c: Well, if you ever receive a call late at night from me, and I don't say anything but then you hear me off in the distance say, "Will you please bare with me?" you will know that you are privy to me getting laid.

me: please. stop. I have my head down on my desk.

c: Hahaha. Let's be honest. It would be more of an incoherent, slurred, "Puhlalease ... buuurr wif meeee," cause I'd likely be on the verge of voming. Sober sex scares me ... and should be saved for marriage. Or at least after I snort a Xanax.

me: My coworker just caught me hunched over my drawer looking for an oil blotter and said, "Are you having a moment?" She handed me a piece of paper and I only realized I didn't have my glasses on (from crying) when I held the paper to my face like a legally blind person.

c: You say legally blind, I say adorably squinty.